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: You know when you proudly went to register my name, well big mistake. The Registrar screwed up, should have told you that IAN had gone, taken, finished, kaput, sold out. Anything else would have been OK, The names of the Latvian hockey squad, first names or middle names as well sir? Jesus and the eleven disciples; can’t have Judas sir, local bye-laws. So can you please have another think and pop down the Town Hall to correct the mistake. In the meantime I’ve told the wife and kids to address me as Sir but they don’t seem to be enthusiastic. If you are not what’s on your birth certificate then that should make you B*** right? Which is what we have always said. I’ve tried to recover all the Income Tax I paid in mistake for this Ian guy, but the tax officer wasn’t sympathetic at all, I think that he wanted to get in first because he was also called Ian. So in the meantime you will need to refer to me as FRED. Sorry about that, how was I to know that’s the milkman’s name. : I.Am.Not FRED

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